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Welcome to Coach O's site and our new feature -- Wednesdays With Ed...
"Woke up buck nekkid this morning. That felt good, so I called over to
South Panola and I said "Coach, you got any god-danged players that I
ain't offered yet." Sumbitch said "No, Coach O!" so I hung up and
called Chief Thundercloud Junior High in Minot, North Dakota and before
the girl could say "Porcupine Athletics," I said "I'm offering your
whole damn team and I don't want to wait on 'em to graduate, neither, I
want their little war-whoopin' tomahawk-slingin' butts here this spring
and ready to whup some Starkville ass." Then I hung up. That felt good.
"Went out to the mailbox to get some eggs and somebody had stolen our
delivery. There was a little old Lady who looked like Barbara Bush
(Editor's Note: The Bushes are dear friends of Dennis and Kim
Franchione) and I figured she'd stole 'em, so I kneed her a few times
in the solar plexus and back-slapped her in the false teeth. Then Mrs.
O yelled out 'Ed, honey, they don't put eggs in the mailbox here,
that's back in Louisiana.' So I helped the old lady up, offered
scholarships to her 12 grand-kids and went back inside. "I was
still starvin', though, so I put on some gym shorts (per the terms of
my contract with Ole Miss, I had to) and a pair of flip-flops and
headed downtown to Smitty's. Went through the hole in the fence around
the yard. Every damn fence I build has a hole in it. Anyway, went to
Smitty's, kicked the door open and yelled "any damn Starkvillers in
here can just head on back to Brokeback Mountain right now." Everybody
in the place said "Hotty Toddy, O!" so I sat on down, ordered a dozen
scrambled and a bottle of green tabasco sauce and head-butted the guy
in the next booth. "The eggs were damn good, so I offered
scholarships to every cook and bus-boy in the place. Stopped at the
Eli-Mart and bought beer for the coaches' meeting and headed home.
"That's all today. Check in Friday for Mrs. O's Corner, when she talks
about some frilly-ass dinner with some University people and gives my
favorite recipe for gator-head." Be of good cheer...
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